The virtue of vices

I've started smoking again.

Before you get all righteously indignant on me, let me say that this is temporary. I know I can quit, and as soon as this pack is gone I will. Again. This will probably be Sunday. While it's no fun it's not really all that hard for me.

I need my cigarettes right now, to help me get over this major adjustment in my life. I can't eat much of anything that I liked before because of the diabetes and the high cholesterol. I can't drink because of the diabetes. Work has been tough. Real life has been tough, too, for a variety of reasons. I need some help to ease me into this weird place where my head is gonna have to remain for the rest of my life. And for the record the blood sugar is mostly under control, I've lost thirteen pounds so far, and I feel pretty good, physically, except for the usual aches and pains. So, it ain't like I'm not taking this crap seriously. I'm adjusting.

I've known people who, when they were feeling stressed, volunteered to help feed the homeless. Or worked out. Or read to the elderly. It helped them get perspective, to blow off steam, and to help others.

Something is wrong with those people. I mean, there's nothing wrong with that stuff per se, but if someone doesn't do something wrong when the going gets tough--maybe smoking tobacco or a joint before going to bed, or visiting a porn sight, or having a drink, or indulging in kinky sex with the siggoth--I don't trust them. I think people who don't have any vices are hiding something sinister. Something that would probably scare the crap out of me if I knew what it was.

I'm not talking about becoming a raging cocaine addict or a junkie or anything--I don't have much patience with those people. But having something to fall back on is comforting, especially if doesn't take over your life.

But, moderation, even in vices, is a virtue. Treasure your vices. Love them. They are what make us interesting.