My life, in a nutshell

Yesterday I left the house without my nasal spray.

Now, if you have allergies like I do you're feeling sorry for me right now. If you don't, suffice to say that, this time of year when the oaks are sending out their pollen in the hope of creating the next generation of oaks, my sinuses tend to slam shut without something to induce them to not do so.

So, I decided to go to the drug store to get more during my lunch break. Had to. Couldn't breathe through my nose by then. I wasn't planning to go to the drug store, because it was pouring down rain and the traffic in this city especially sucks when it's raining. But I had no choice.

I slog out to my truck, then splash over to the drugstore to get my drug of choice. Stand in line behind two gentlemen. That's when what always happens to me, especially when I'm in a hurry, happens.

The guy at the front of the line had two cans of nuts and a can of Red Bull. Should only take a couple minutes at most, right? Wrong. I don't know what the dude was doing but it took twenty frakkin' minutes. Whatever he was doing required frequent signatures, phone calls, paging management, more phone calls, a couple of blood sacrifices, money changing hands, more money changing hands, more phone calls, another ritual, Congressional approval, more signatures, more money changing hands, then money changing hands again, then more phone calls, then reading of chicken entrails, consultation with a shaman, use of a Ouija board, a blessing by the Pope, divination, use of a dowsing rod, a physical exam, a ruling from the Supreme Court, and, finally, a note from the guy's doctor. Of course the drug store only had one asile open so I had to stand behind this putz, feeling my life aging away, while he and the lady waiting on him did their dance.

What is it these people are doing? It take me maybe two minutes--tops--to buy my stuff and move along. That's if I'm not rushing.

This happens all the damned time, too. You think somebody who is buying a couple of things will only take a minute to check out and they take all day long. Sheesh!

Yeah, I'm an asshole. But the thing is, I don't care.