What I've been missing

I just haven't been feeling very creative for a while now.

When I sit down to write something, sketch something, paint something, whatever, the results aren't all that interesting.

Something is missing. I'm just not feeling that fire I usually feel when I'm working on something.

I've felt this for a while--or, rather, haven't felt it. Sort of a numbness.

I finally figured out what was missing, just an hour or so ago.

Rage. Seething, frothing rage. It's just not there anymore.

All creative types have their particular emotional palette, something that they have to feel in order to produce their more inspired works, and that's mine. My best stuff is painted with rage, a white-hot, deep-seated anger.

Not happening at the moment. I don't know why. It's not like the things that angered me before are no longer around. They're present more than ever, in fact. But the anger, the emotional trigger that sets my mind onto the paths that lead to something interesting and worthwhile, has been replaced with an emotional exhaustion, a tiredness, and an annoyance at the idiots who seem to outnumber everyone else in this world.

Nobody wants to read about that crap. Nobody wants to feel that, least of all me. Exhaustion and annoyance? You can feel that just by going to work. And get paid for it, too.

It's not like I want the anger. I seem to need it, though, in order to create. Dammit.

Maybe I need to watch the news more. That would probably do it.