I still dream about you, Atari. I still think about you all the time. If I believed in such things I'd say your spirit still haunts the backyard at my dad's house, running and sniffing around and barking at the cows and staring in hypnotized fascination at the horses. Watching Sheba--my brother's chocolate lab who has also left us--chase after a tennis ball and wondering what the hell was the fun in that?
Your ashes still reside in their box atop my dresser, along with your collar. One day I'm hoping they'll be mingled with mine and we'll both be buried in some peaceful, scenic spot where we can mix with the earth. Maybe the flora and fauna in that area will be able to find a use for what's left of us. I sincerely hope so.
The pain and grief I feel over losing you is still too much for me to bear. I can only allow myself to feel it a little at the time or it will overwhelm me. Just typing these words is causing my hands to start trembling again and my eyes to fill with tears.
I love you. I always will.
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