Struggling to find the cheerful . . .

What a depressing week last week was.


Robin Williams dying, and then the situation in Ferguson, has made me sort of wonder what the point in everything is.


Robin Williams's suicide isn't a mystery to me--I wasn't surprised to learn about his struggles with depression and addiction. Having suffered most of my life with depression--and being hospitalized for it twice--I understand a bit what he was going through and how others around him didn't know about it.


And, for the record, here's my advice if you have someone in your life who suffers from depression. Commit to being there for him or her, or stay away. In other words, don't promise to be there if you don't mean it. Because once you make that promise, the person you made that promise to is going to expect you to be there when their world is at its darkest. If they call on you and you aren't there for them, that makes it much worse. As to what you should do if and when they call? Listen. Maybe they don't have anything to say, and maybe you don't know what to say, and that's fine. As long as they know you are there, and willing to listen, as long as there is that connection, that helps immeasurably. So, even if they call and there's nothing but silence on the line, as long as they know you are on the line, that'll help.


If, however, you promised to be there and they call on you and you just don't have time for them or don't feel like dealing with them, that will only make whatever they're going through that much worse. I can't stress that enough--if you don't think you can be there for that person, then don't make that promise.


As for what's going on in Ferguson, I can't even talk about it now. The authorities in that city provoked the whole thing and they keep making it worse. It seems like nobody in charge has any clue how to handle a volatile situation--it almost seems like they are deliberately trying to keep things stirred up there. It's like they asked experts in how to handle these types of things and did the opposite of what they were told. It's going to get a lot worse there over the next few days, and it'll all be so unnecessary.


I've spent the weekend working on my manuscript, painting, trying to stay inside my own little world for a while. I feel a bit better about things now, but we'll see how long that lasts, when I have to go back out into the world tomorrow.


As for The Sorcerer's Daughter,  I'm pretty happy with the progress I'm making with the rewrite. I'll be through it for the second time in the next couple of days. One or two more passes and I'll be ready to send it to a friend of mine who is a good editor for her to look it over and rip it apart.


So, I've managed to get some stuff done, in spite of this dark mood I've been in lately. I'd say that's a minor victory.