Rewriting, rewriting, rewriting . . .

I'm hip-deep in a rewrite of Too Many Tonys.

For the hypothetical people who actually read these, I'm sure you're wondering what happened to The Making of Citizen ZED.  The answer to that is--nothing. I'm letting it sit for a while.

The reason is two-fold. While I love ZED, the draft has some problems and I need to rethink some aspects of the whole thing to resolve them. In the mean time, I've gotten feedback on Tonys, from two different readers, and they both had the same things to say about it. Namely, they loved the basic idea, but there just isn't enough conflict.

Which I suspected, but I was hoping the basic story was enough to cause that to be overlooked. I guess not. So, I've made a pretty significant change to one of the central characters to up the ante and make the whole situation a bit more dire. My hero has more on the line now, both professionally and personally.

One criticism that's bugging me is one reader hated the title. She said it sounded more like the title of a family-friendly flick instead of a noir. So, I've been trying to come up with another title that's more reflective of the tone of the thing. Without success so far, I might add. I'm sure I'll come up with something--or I'll just let the title stand. It is descriptive of what the movie is about, the central problem of the whole thing.

I also got some feedback on my short script, "Niobe." The reader thought it read more like the second act of a feature, and that it would probably work better as a full-length film instead of a short.

A big part of that was the reader didn't figure out what I was trying to do with it, and that is my fault. Certain aspects of the story need to be clearer, more fully explained.

But the feature length thing? Hmmmm . . . I never thought of "Niobe" as being longer than twenty minutes, but the more I think about it, the more I kind of dig the idea. I think maybe there is enough story there to expand it into a full-length feature. It's something I'll be mulling over in the coming months.

In the mean time, though, I'm deconstructing Tonys, putting it back together, sanding it and using wood putty and stain and varnish on it, to take it from a promising idea into a project that would attract A-list talent.

After that? I'll probably turn my attention to ZED again. Hopefully by then I'll have some fresh ideas to deal with the problems and turn that puppy into something that someone will be willing to help me get made.

Also in the mix is my short short, "My Creature," that I hope to shoot in the next year or so. The script is done, but I've got some personal issues I'm going to need to sort out first before I can concentrate on going forward with it. Hopefully those will resolve in a way that will allow me to focus on it and get that baby made.

So, I've got a lot to keep me busy and out of trouble for the next couple of years, looks like.

Maybe even longer!