Friday night randomocity

So, I'm watching wrestling on Syfy after spending a couple hours recording guitar tracks for the new tune, "Walks Like a Man." (See previous post for the lyrics if you want.)

It's been a long week and I'm beat. Unfortunately I'll be going in to work tomorrow morning, too. The phones will be down, though, so it won't be so bad. I can put on my headphones and listen to my iPod for hours.

Speaking of work, got some news about the future yesterday. The office here will be closing a year earlier than we thought--by April 2012 instead of April 2013. Which means I'll probably be moving to Birmingham or somewhere west of Atlanta next year sometime.

I hate moving and I'm dreading this one. It's going to be expensive. Yes, I get reimbursed for most of the cost, but that's the key, isn't it? Reimbursed. Gotta front the money myself. I think I can come up with it but it means borrowing against my 401K. Just finished paying off another loan against my 401K a couple months ago. So, that sucks. Still, if I want to have a job I need to find a way to do it. I've just got too much time in with this job to try to find something else.

Healthwise, I've lost 20 pounds so far. Blood sugar is balls-on perfect. The program there is progressing. Of course, Thanxgiving is coming up, and that's gonna be a challenge for me. I love turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, all that. I can still have that stuff, too, but only in very small doses. I'd rather not have it at all than just have tiny tastes of it righ tnow.

Monday night randomocity

I think maybe I've figured this carb/blood sugar thing out, finally. With a little help from http://www.behealthy.com/. Basically I track my carbs--15 grams = 1 unit. No more than three units per meal, no more than two per snack. Three meals and three snacks a day. 15 units of carbs per day, give or take.

It's a bit of a pain finding out carbs for some foods but most have it on the label. Most restaurants have nutritional info on their websites for most of their menu items. Very helpful. I'm also only eating meat maybe once a day, and not much then.

It's not so bad. For breakfast yesterday I had a half waffle--I added some wheat germ to the mix--and some sausage and even syrup. Two hours later, blood sugar was 120. Awesome. (Atari got the other half of the waffle, if you're curious. He loves waffles, especially when I add the wheat germ to them.)

So, blood sugar the past couple mornings has been around 118. At night, two hours after dinner, it's . . . 118.  Doesn't get more stable than that!

Musically, I just laid down the bass track for "Walks Like a Man." This tune is gonna be kind of bass-heavy, a dark tune that'll have some quiet moments and some moments of utter cacophony. It's also gonna be probably my longest tune--weighs in at over seven minutes now. I may cut some of it. Or I may not. We'll see. I'm really excited about it, though--this tune is gonna be especially badass.

I realized the other night that another sign iof getting old is I actually watch the drug commercials on TV and some of them hav relevance in my life. And I brag to strangers about my blood sugar. Sheesh.

Frustration, the nature of the Beast

You know, I've done the healthy living thing before.

I was a body-builder. I monitored my calories, proteins, carbs, all that. I took protein supplements. I worked out at the gym every day--cardio and free weights. My legs became incredibly strong. I had art students wanting to use me for a model. I was running--not jogging, running--three miles at a pop. My weight dropped to around 200 pounds--I lost almost 100.

All this was before my wrist problems. I couldn't work out for a while after my surgery and I fell out of the habit. I let myself go. I felt like I'd proven my point to myself.

This is my way of saying I'm experienced with all this. What I've never had to worry about before is my blood sugar.

Hence my frustration. It's at 199 now, which is high. I really haven't eaten anything that I haven't had before, when it scored in the normal range.

It's frustrating as hell. It seems if I eat anything other than raw vegetables it causes my blood sugar to go up. Right now I'm wondering why I even bother behaving myself. Am I just depriving myself of my favorite things for no purpose?

I have to say, though, that I do feel better. I can actually read, now--my eyes seem to be adjusting back to where they should be. For a while there it was really hard.

I do sleep a little better. I'm still losing weight.

Still, it seems that everything, and I mean everything, I eat gets converted to sugar. Goddammit.

Don't mind me. I'm feeling sorry for myself. I"ll get over it. I've still got some adjusting to do and I'll do it.

But, still, it's frustrating.

My new normal

My blood suger, as of now, is within normal range. 120. Above 145 is high--this morning it was 144, but that was after several hours of not eating anything. Getting it to 120 is an accomplishment.

I've been eating a lot more veggies, and cut down on the meat. I'm also not eating much rice, which is a sacrifice for me--I love rice. I also love Chinese food, but that's a no-no right now, too. Dammit.

And I'm able to see a little better, too. See to read, that is--for a while there it was really hard to focus on text. Everything is still a little blurry but it seems to be better. Doc says that's a combination of diabetes and getting old.

Also can't do bread, much, though I have some five-grain Italian I had with dinner tonight that's pretty healthy. Also using an vinegar and olive oil dressing, mostly because olive oil is good at lowering the bad cholesterol, another issue I'm having to contend with. It's also pretty tasty.

I like the vieggies, raw and steamed, but when that's all I can eat it gets a bit tiresome. I steamed up some for dinner, mixed in some diced chicken breast and the aforementioned salad dressing, and it wasn't bad at all. It had the added benefit of producing the blood sugar score, noted above. (If you're interested, veggies were brocolli, spinach, carrots, and some string beans. Along with a Vidalia onion. Drizzled with the dressing. I saved the water to use for cooking later--it'll make a nice broth upon which to base a soup of some kind, methinks.)

I'm seriously considering becoming a vegetarian, at least for now. I tried it once before, years ago, during my bodybuilding period--it was okay but I decided it was just too difficult. And if I go that route this time I won't be all that strict about it. I can't or I'll go nuts. But I'm not one of those people who requires meat with every meal.

Poor Atari is not digging this new diea at all. He likes rice as much as I do and I usually give him my leftovers, over his regular food. He'll get used to it--he was starting to get a little heavy anyway.

Plus I have lost some weight. Not sure how much--at this point it really doesn't show up on the scales, just the clothes. I can't keep my warmup pants up now. Heh.

Fortunately I know how to diet, and I have some clothes from my leaner days, and I may even start exersizing some when my weight gets down a bit lower. Who knows? In a few months I'll be a shadow of myself. And that's a good thing.