Mid-week randomicity

It sucks to get old.

The down side--I have more doctor's appointments than usual. I need help keeping up with them. And they are for things that might--might--turn out to be serious. Also, I can't eat junk food like I used to without having to pay the price for it later. And really difficult to concentrate for more than a couple minutes at a time, when before I could focus on something for hours.

There are up sides, though--yeah, I'm fat, but I don't give a sh!t. I've never been much to look at anyways and in my old age I've finally accepted the fact that I'm ugly. Hell, I embrace my ugliness. It's a trademark. Oddly enough people seem to like me better now that I've stopped worrying about it.

Also, getting older means things that were a huge deal before are not such a big deal now. Like sex. It's been a while for me . . . a long while, we're getting near the decade mark at this writing . . . and it's simply not that big of a deal for me. I was having the occassional hookup before, which were fun for a little while, but they were with women who I could never see myself having anything long-term with. It would be nice to get laid every now and then, just to see if I still remember where everything is, but it would be even nicer if it were with someone who I'd want to stick around for a while. Just for a change. If I can't have that I think, at least for now, I'd rather just have nothing. I may feel differently if my dry spell continues, and it probably will, since I'm not actually out looking around anymore.

Speaking of love, what do you think of this article? It's from CNN.com and it's about how we sabatoge ourselves by dissing the people in our life when they attempt to demonstrate their love for us. I thought it was pretty much dead on--I saw myself in it, along with other people I know. Give it read, post your thoughts.

I'm still working on rewrites of my spec script. I'm happy with most of it, but there are a couple of little plot points that are really stupid. And some other things I think need to be adjusted. I'm going to wait until this weekend so I can rewrite the whole thing in one sitting--it'll give me a better idea as to how the whole thing flows that way. Instead of doing a few pages every day.


Right now I'm listening to Epica's Classical Conspiracy--a live album recorded with a full ochestra and chorus. Like their music was meant to be heard. You'll like it. Check it out!

Was it good for you?

I reached a sort of milestone just now--finished the first draft of my spec script, Mythophobia.

I've mentioned how concerned I was about the ending, about how I was afraid I wouldn't be able to pull it off. Re-reading what I've done I think I managed it. It certainly affected me, and I'm not a sucker for my own stuff in that regard. Normally I underestimate the impact of what I've written, so if this hits me this hard then it might be lethal . . . heh.

Actually I doubt it, though my hope is, if this thing ever gets produced, you'll have some tears in your eyes at the end. And your throat will be raw from screaming, too. It is, after all, a horror movie . . .

What I've learned is a good sign, as I've mentioned before, is my complete immersion in it--it took a couple hours for me to write what I did today, which was the finale and the coda, and I felt like it was only a few minutes. Plus, I worked up a good sweat, too. Another good sign. It's hard work, making up stuff like this!

Anyways, I hope I'm not fooling myself with how good it is. It does need a rewrite--there's some stuff I need to tweak, some things that need to be edited, and I want to add a couple short scenes, stuff like that. Plus I need to work on the pacing--my most common complaint with a lot of films is herky-jerky pacing. It should flow, like a symphony--some faster tempo sections, some slower, some moderate . . . a good mix, working towards an overpowering finale. And a sweet, satisfying coda, to finish it off. Let's hope the music I'm making with this thing is something people will want to hear!

Now I need to take a day or so off from it. Gonna watch a movie or three, listen for a few dozen tunes, maybe record something new. I need to get some distance from it so I can be a little detached and approach it with a fresher perspective.



Speaking of music, I found a bit of inspiration in Sirenia's 13th Floor CD. Lots of mythical imagery and interesting dreamscapes to be found in this one. Very helpful soundtrack to assist with creative thought. Check it out!

O, for a Muse of Fire . . .

I got one of those. A Muse of Fire, that is. I'm understanding what Shakespeare was talking about at the beginning of Henry V.

I'm in the final act of this spec script I've been working on, Mythophobia. I've been worried about it for a while now--I felt like it might be a little too big for me. It could be one of those things that elevates this work to a special place, that makes it different from other films.

Or it could be a pretencious piece of crap.

So, with some anxiety I began working on it yesterday. Worked on it some more just now. So far, I'm pleased.

Sure, it's just a first draft, and it'll need some refining. To me, anyway, that's the easy part. The hard part is getting it down in the first place. Once it's out there it's just a matter of massaging it, snipping parts, moving stuff around, adjusting the flow, and all that.

A good sign--I have a huge playlist in ITunes I use, carefully selected music that provides my imagination with a proper context, a soundtrack, something to assist it in creating this stuff. When I checked I was about twenty songs into it before I quit for now. About an hour and a half. I had no clue I was at it for that long. This, in my experience with how I work, is a Very Good Sign.

I think one more session like that and I'll be through most of it--there will just be the coda, which won't be all that much, really. Maybe by tomorrow afternoon I'll be done with this part, and I'll be able to get out my blue pencil and start hacking away at it. Heh.

There is no feeling like this--putting something together, be it a story, a screenplay, a song, whatever. There is nothing like putting together a project and knowing that, even if it never gets published, produced, or whatever, that it is something special, something rare and worthwhile. That you brought something beautiful, truthful, rare and wondrous into the world.

Nothing like it. Nothing.

Vacation--the halfway point

So, today my stay-cation is half over.

I always take stay-cations. I rarely go anywhere. There are a couple of reasons for this:

1. I don't really have the funding to go anywhere.
2. I hate to travel.

Oh, I will travel, for business or to visit someone, but I rarely go somewhere just to see the sights or anything. Like a few years ago I spent nearly a week in Vegas visiting a close friend who lived there. Didn't set foot in a casino the whole time I was there, though--I wasn't there for that, and I don't gamble anyway, and the vast majority of those shows they have are . .  ugh. I had a great time just hanging out with my friend and her daughter, who is also my goddaughter. I didn't require anything else.

Usually I have projects I want to work on while I'm on vacation. This time it's a spec script--I have an idea where I'd like to be by the end of this coming weekend. Maybe I'll be there.

I'd also like to get at least one new song posted but I'm not so sure about that one. The one I want to do is going to be a little dicey--it's "Inside," lyrics posted here yesterday. It'll be really good, if I can make it come out like the version I hear in my head, but it'll take some work to get it right. It's a bit tricky because it's just me--sometimes it poses technical difficulties, let's say.

That friend I visited in Vegas a few years ago has started a production company with her partner, and they are working on producing a short film. However, they need help with it, and by that I mean financial help. Yes, I've donated, as have others, but it's not enough. You can click the widget in the upper right if you want to help them out yourself. Or just go to http://www.dracoequus.com/ and click "Donate." No amount is too small. The film they want to do would be wonderful--the story is charming and will make a splendid film. But if they don't get the money it won't get made. Which would be tragic. The project is called Hearts on the Knee.

So, help my friends out, keep your fingers crossed that I reach my goal and also get this tune recorded. I hope your own week is progressing well and you're getting a chance to have some fun!