I know, people think I'm really weird.
Of course there are a lot of things about me that you could say that about, but what I'm thinking of right now is the way I deal with grief and sadness. I listen to music.
Now, I know, everybody listens to music during those times, but to me it's so much more than that. It's something that really helps me to get the pain and anguish out.
Right after 9/11 I listened to my recording of Barber's "Adagio for Strings"--LA Philharmonic, Leonard Bernstein conducting--over and over again. It helped me. The longing, sadness, and pain I hear in that piece of music resonates on a primitive level that goes beyond mere words.
With everything that's going on in my life right now I'm finding Draconian a perfect fit. The rage, sadness, unexpected beauty, the sheer power and agony in their music speaks to me in a way more profound than anything else could. I'm listening to "When I Wake" over and over again--the bridge to that song is one of the most incredible, overwhelming moments I have ever encountered in any piece of music. You just have to hear it for yourself. I can't describe it. Please, listen to it. All the way through. Just once. You can get it from Amazon, or ITunes.
Of course, people don't get that. They listen to music but they don't see it as the balm that I do. Different strokes, I know.
What do you do when your world is falling apart, or you find yourself grieving? What helps you get through those times?
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Draconian music
Okay, I know I'm late to the party, but I just discovered this Swedish Goth Metal band today.
Oh. My. God.
I've never been a big proponent to harsh vocals (though I have played with them a little lately) but this band has helped to change my mind. The interplay between Anders Jacobsson's harsh vocals and Lisa Johansson's beautiful, clean voice adds such powerful contrast. It's skillfully done. Add to that the unbelievable power of the music--every song is almost too powerful, really. Incredibly dramatic music. These guys need to be doing music for movies.
I'm not kidding, I"m blown away. I'm in awe. Listen to the first track on Turning Season Within, "Seasons Apart." Moments of quiet, melodic beauty, mixed with incredible power and dramatically building music. This is the kind of thing I'm usually trying to do myself, with my own music.
They are currently touring with two other bands I love, Epica and Tristania. Gods. That would be an unforgettable show.
Oh. My. God.
I've never been a big proponent to harsh vocals (though I have played with them a little lately) but this band has helped to change my mind. The interplay between Anders Jacobsson's harsh vocals and Lisa Johansson's beautiful, clean voice adds such powerful contrast. It's skillfully done. Add to that the unbelievable power of the music--every song is almost too powerful, really. Incredibly dramatic music. These guys need to be doing music for movies.
I'm not kidding, I"m blown away. I'm in awe. Listen to the first track on Turning Season Within, "Seasons Apart." Moments of quiet, melodic beauty, mixed with incredible power and dramatically building music. This is the kind of thing I'm usually trying to do myself, with my own music.
They are currently touring with two other bands I love, Epica and Tristania. Gods. That would be an unforgettable show.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Art imitating life - Debra RIP
While I was at work this morning a co-worker got a call--another associate of ours, Debra, had died this morning.
It took a while for me to get any details but apparently she died in her sleep and was found by her nine-year-old son this morning. My heart goes out to that poor boy.
This was someone who worked in my department, someone I've worked closely with on several projects over the years, so it's not like she wasn't someone I didn't know all that well. She loved the NBA and the NFL and we spent several hours over the years arguing about which team was better or what a team needed to do to win. I'm going to miss that, especially when football season finally kicks off again.
Still, it's especially uncomfortable for me, because that's sort of what my movie project, Seer, is about--death, unexpected, and our reactions to it. In fact there's a situation in it that's similar to what happened with Debra. While my sudden and personal experience with the subject matter can only help with my creation of the story, I would have preferred to maintain my more distant approach.
I'm sorry. Grief and shock make me awkward and wordy. I bottle the pain up and let it out a little bit at the time, over a long period. So people think I don't feel anything.
Deb, I'm gonna miss you. It's just not going to be the same.
It took a while for me to get any details but apparently she died in her sleep and was found by her nine-year-old son this morning. My heart goes out to that poor boy.
This was someone who worked in my department, someone I've worked closely with on several projects over the years, so it's not like she wasn't someone I didn't know all that well. She loved the NBA and the NFL and we spent several hours over the years arguing about which team was better or what a team needed to do to win. I'm going to miss that, especially when football season finally kicks off again.
Still, it's especially uncomfortable for me, because that's sort of what my movie project, Seer, is about--death, unexpected, and our reactions to it. In fact there's a situation in it that's similar to what happened with Debra. While my sudden and personal experience with the subject matter can only help with my creation of the story, I would have preferred to maintain my more distant approach.
I'm sorry. Grief and shock make me awkward and wordy. I bottle the pain up and let it out a little bit at the time, over a long period. So people think I don't feel anything.
Deb, I'm gonna miss you. It's just not going to be the same.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
numb
numb
What if I could take a pill that would make it all go away?
Ignorance and arrogance
accidents and happenstance?
What if I could drop a tab and suddenly no more cliché
no more holes in my dreams or my life?
Maybe if the highs were higher
maybe if they existed at all
maybe if the fucking Universe would get off my back
maybe if I could see the ending it wouldn't matter anymore.
What if I could take some juice that would cause me to feel nothing?
No joy or elation but no pain or aggravation?
What if I could wash it all down with a swallow or two of something?
Would I make it go away or would I let it stay?
Maybe if I knew there was a chance
maybe if I knew we would survive
maybe if I saw some hope for the future
I'd chose to feel nothing instead of what I feel now.
words and music by J Franklin Evans
What if I could take a pill that would make it all go away?
Ignorance and arrogance
accidents and happenstance?
What if I could drop a tab and suddenly no more cliché
no more holes in my dreams or my life?
Maybe if the highs were higher
maybe if they existed at all
maybe if the fucking Universe would get off my back
maybe if I could see the ending it wouldn't matter anymore.
What if I could take some juice that would cause me to feel nothing?
No joy or elation but no pain or aggravation?
What if I could wash it all down with a swallow or two of something?
Would I make it go away or would I let it stay?
Maybe if I knew there was a chance
maybe if I knew we would survive
maybe if I saw some hope for the future
I'd chose to feel nothing instead of what I feel now.
words and music by J Franklin Evans
Friday, March 18, 2011
Post St Pat's Day randomocity
So, I had to go out of town during St. Pat's.
It was a family thing, really--I needed to sit with my dad while my sister-in-law had surgery. Still, I'm sure many of you think that it's weird that I left the city that hosts one of the largest St. Pat's Day celebrations in the country.
Well, I didn't have much choice--I didn't schedule SIL's surgery. Plus, I lived in the Historic District for something like seven years, so I was at Ground Zero during all those St. Pat's Days. I mean, the parade went right underneath my balcony. For the first three or four years it was fun. After that it got a bit tiresome.
Anyways, I'm home now and can resume working on my various projects--notably my potential film project, Seer. I actually missed being able to sit down and work on it.
Atari is doing fine, if you're interested. About the same. He hates it when we take these little trips--he's miserable the whole time, pacing around the house, not settling down like he does when he's at home. He's better now that he's back in his own digs.
I'm resting, musically. I have a few ideas for some stuff but nothing that is demanding to be worked on right now, which is good, as I want to concentrate on writing until I've finished Seer. Or at least until I've got Seer into something approximating a final form.
Also, watching House on USA right now--they have a House marathon every Friday. If you want to be a screenwriter, especially if you want to work in TV, watch that show. It's even better if you watch several episodes in order. That show is like a story-telling clinic. Pay attention to the rhythms, character development, subtexts and contexts. Try to notice the stuff you are figuring out without even realizing that you're figuring it out. Note how, while there are several really funny moments, it never resorts to becoming cutesy-poo--a failing of another show I do like, that being Bones. Of course, the top-notch cast helps House, too, but it starts with the writing.
It always starts with the writing. Let no-one ever tell you otherwise.
It was a family thing, really--I needed to sit with my dad while my sister-in-law had surgery. Still, I'm sure many of you think that it's weird that I left the city that hosts one of the largest St. Pat's Day celebrations in the country.
Well, I didn't have much choice--I didn't schedule SIL's surgery. Plus, I lived in the Historic District for something like seven years, so I was at Ground Zero during all those St. Pat's Days. I mean, the parade went right underneath my balcony. For the first three or four years it was fun. After that it got a bit tiresome.
Anyways, I'm home now and can resume working on my various projects--notably my potential film project, Seer. I actually missed being able to sit down and work on it.
Atari is doing fine, if you're interested. About the same. He hates it when we take these little trips--he's miserable the whole time, pacing around the house, not settling down like he does when he's at home. He's better now that he's back in his own digs.
I'm resting, musically. I have a few ideas for some stuff but nothing that is demanding to be worked on right now, which is good, as I want to concentrate on writing until I've finished Seer. Or at least until I've got Seer into something approximating a final form.
Also, watching House on USA right now--they have a House marathon every Friday. If you want to be a screenwriter, especially if you want to work in TV, watch that show. It's even better if you watch several episodes in order. That show is like a story-telling clinic. Pay attention to the rhythms, character development, subtexts and contexts. Try to notice the stuff you are figuring out without even realizing that you're figuring it out. Note how, while there are several really funny moments, it never resorts to becoming cutesy-poo--a failing of another show I do like, that being Bones. Of course, the top-notch cast helps House, too, but it starts with the writing.
It always starts with the writing. Let no-one ever tell you otherwise.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Timing and making it flow
There are certain things that, to me, make a TV show unwatchable.
It's most noticeable if you watch a sitcom--what my dad calls "them damned thirty minute shows." There seems to be only the most basic relationship between the scenes. It's like you can imagine at the end of one scene that a director, cinematographer, set dressers, everyone, going in, getting everything ready, getting the actors situated, makup perfect, before shouting, "Action!" The flow from one scene to another is herky-jerky. You don't get the feeling that you're following the characters around watching their story reveal itself. Instead of a coherent story you get a series of disconnected scenes.
Maybe this is a problem only for me. Maybe other people don't notice this. But it drives me nuts. I always have problems explaining this.
The chief cause, I think, is the timing is different for each scene, but not in a way that complements the other scenes. By timing I mean the same thing one would say about music--the tempo, the beat. Watch a really good TV show--like House, for example--and count the beat. You can actually do it. And it'll be consistent from one scene to the next. You don't even realize it unless you pay attention to it, but it makes all the difference in the world to how much you enjoy the show. It's like a symphony--each scene contributes but has it's own individual characteristics, like movements in a musical piece. But they all hang together, they all complement each other to form a stronger whole. And there are certain things that are the same throughought, like a thread sewn throughout the entire piece.
This is why I reread my scripts aloud, tapping my foot just like I do when I record a track for a song. Maybe it makes no difference to anyone else, but to me it makes all the difference in the world.
It's most noticeable if you watch a sitcom--what my dad calls "them damned thirty minute shows." There seems to be only the most basic relationship between the scenes. It's like you can imagine at the end of one scene that a director, cinematographer, set dressers, everyone, going in, getting everything ready, getting the actors situated, makup perfect, before shouting, "Action!" The flow from one scene to another is herky-jerky. You don't get the feeling that you're following the characters around watching their story reveal itself. Instead of a coherent story you get a series of disconnected scenes.
Maybe this is a problem only for me. Maybe other people don't notice this. But it drives me nuts. I always have problems explaining this.
The chief cause, I think, is the timing is different for each scene, but not in a way that complements the other scenes. By timing I mean the same thing one would say about music--the tempo, the beat. Watch a really good TV show--like House, for example--and count the beat. You can actually do it. And it'll be consistent from one scene to the next. You don't even realize it unless you pay attention to it, but it makes all the difference in the world to how much you enjoy the show. It's like a symphony--each scene contributes but has it's own individual characteristics, like movements in a musical piece. But they all hang together, they all complement each other to form a stronger whole. And there are certain things that are the same throughought, like a thread sewn throughout the entire piece.
This is why I reread my scripts aloud, tapping my foot just like I do when I record a track for a song. Maybe it makes no difference to anyone else, but to me it makes all the difference in the world.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Progress report - Seer
I've reached the end of Act One of the first draft of this little screenplay I'm writing.
It's kind of a big deal--if I was going to give up on it I would not have gotten this far. So, all indications are that I'll tough it out until the end. When I finish it, finally, who knows?
I really like the characters--one in particular. I sort of identify with him. And no, I'm not talking about the serial killer.
Hopefully when it's over all of the characters will come across in shades of gray--nobody is completely good, nobody is completely evil. Just complicated and messed up. Even the serial killer has his redeeming qualities.
Anyways, I'm happy with what I have so far. Of course I'll rewrite it a few times, but that's to me easier than the first draft--it's less difficult to carve away and rework stuff than it is to make it up in the first place.
On an unrelated note, I've been listening to this song, my tune "Walks Like A Man, " a lot lately. If you've never heard my stuff this one is sort of the ultimate tune--it's sort of the type of thing I usually try to do. Heavy, dark, with a little humor of the darkest sort. Click the link, give it a listen, download it if you like it. Play it for your friends. That's why I made it downloadable. Just be sure to tell people where you got it from.
And while you're there you can listen to the other stuff, too--you'll see the list of tunes over to the right. I'd love to hear that you think!
It's kind of a big deal--if I was going to give up on it I would not have gotten this far. So, all indications are that I'll tough it out until the end. When I finish it, finally, who knows?
I really like the characters--one in particular. I sort of identify with him. And no, I'm not talking about the serial killer.
Hopefully when it's over all of the characters will come across in shades of gray--nobody is completely good, nobody is completely evil. Just complicated and messed up. Even the serial killer has his redeeming qualities.
Anyways, I'm happy with what I have so far. Of course I'll rewrite it a few times, but that's to me easier than the first draft--it's less difficult to carve away and rework stuff than it is to make it up in the first place.
On an unrelated note, I've been listening to this song, my tune "Walks Like A Man, " a lot lately. If you've never heard my stuff this one is sort of the ultimate tune--it's sort of the type of thing I usually try to do. Heavy, dark, with a little humor of the darkest sort. Click the link, give it a listen, download it if you like it. Play it for your friends. That's why I made it downloadable. Just be sure to tell people where you got it from.
And while you're there you can listen to the other stuff, too--you'll see the list of tunes over to the right. I'd love to hear that you think!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Aliens vs . . . Vikings?
I just saw Outlander today.
My brother highly recommended this one to me and it did sound interesting, so I got it from ITunes.
Basically it's a reworking of Beowulf, with the part of Grendel and Grendel's mom being played by alien monsters. And the hero is also an alien.
The basic plot is an alien crash-lands in a lake in Norway in 700 AD after a monster called a Moorwen kills everyone else on board his ship. Of course, the monster also survives the crash and sets up residence in the area, killing everything it can get ahold of. And the only person who can stop it is our hero.
Of course there's quite a bit more to it than that, but that's the starting point. It's set around 700 AD, a period of history I know almost nothing about, so I can't attest to the historical veracity.
To begin with, though, there are a couple of things about films like this that usually irritate the piss out of me, which weren't issues here--namely, the alien hero that looks, acts, hell, is, human, and also two civilizations that have never encountered each other before that speak the same language. Both of those are dealt with here. The solutions used aren't original--and really don't bear close scrutiny--but they only take a tiny bit of screen time and they satsify the grouchy old coot in me and let me watch the thing.
Overall I dug it. The monster was well done, interesting, and remained mysterious all the way to the end. There were a couple of moral questions I thought were going to be side-stepped, but they weren't, something else I appreciated. The acting was fine, the effects were very well done, and I watched it on my iPod, which means I got full benefit of the sound editing, too, via my ear-buds. Also, the resolution on the screen on that thing is amazing, which offsets the tiny size. To me. Plus, having John Hurt and Ron Perlman in the cast is an added bonus.
The only problem I had was about a third of the way through it sort of seems to forget what it's all about for a little while--there's a party scene that goes on way too long. Granted, it's important to the plot, but a few minutes could have been shaved from that. It was starting to get tedious. But then it picks up again.
Overall, though, I give it a B. Had to ding it a letter grade for that party scene. I still recommend it to you--it's a fun flick, well acted, and visually very interesting. Check it out!
My brother highly recommended this one to me and it did sound interesting, so I got it from ITunes.
Basically it's a reworking of Beowulf, with the part of Grendel and Grendel's mom being played by alien monsters. And the hero is also an alien.
The basic plot is an alien crash-lands in a lake in Norway in 700 AD after a monster called a Moorwen kills everyone else on board his ship. Of course, the monster also survives the crash and sets up residence in the area, killing everything it can get ahold of. And the only person who can stop it is our hero.
Of course there's quite a bit more to it than that, but that's the starting point. It's set around 700 AD, a period of history I know almost nothing about, so I can't attest to the historical veracity.
To begin with, though, there are a couple of things about films like this that usually irritate the piss out of me, which weren't issues here--namely, the alien hero that looks, acts, hell, is, human, and also two civilizations that have never encountered each other before that speak the same language. Both of those are dealt with here. The solutions used aren't original--and really don't bear close scrutiny--but they only take a tiny bit of screen time and they satsify the grouchy old coot in me and let me watch the thing.
Overall I dug it. The monster was well done, interesting, and remained mysterious all the way to the end. There were a couple of moral questions I thought were going to be side-stepped, but they weren't, something else I appreciated. The acting was fine, the effects were very well done, and I watched it on my iPod, which means I got full benefit of the sound editing, too, via my ear-buds. Also, the resolution on the screen on that thing is amazing, which offsets the tiny size. To me. Plus, having John Hurt and Ron Perlman in the cast is an added bonus.
The only problem I had was about a third of the way through it sort of seems to forget what it's all about for a little while--there's a party scene that goes on way too long. Granted, it's important to the plot, but a few minutes could have been shaved from that. It was starting to get tedious. But then it picks up again.
Overall, though, I give it a B. Had to ding it a letter grade for that party scene. I still recommend it to you--it's a fun flick, well acted, and visually very interesting. Check it out!
No regrets?
I'm working on this screenplay and one of the situations involved got me to thinking. Which I guess is a Good Thing.
One plot line involves the central character deciding to help another character--who is going to die in the next couple of days--to do something he's wanted to do for years. He'd never met his father--the father had left his mother while she was still pregnant with him. He knew who he is, knows where he is, but had never worked up the nerve to go and say hello to him. The kicker is, the character has no idea he's dying. That's sort of the point.
Anyway, the central character researches this and decides that it may be best to let the guy die without ever meeting his father. I won't go into details but she has a very good reason for this and it'll be obvious to anyone who sees the film. If it gets made. The character decides that it's not always a bad thing to have some unfulfilled desires, unmet goals, plain and simple regrets, when the end comes. She has ample experience with this, which again is sort of the point of the whole thing, but she does run into some controversy over it with other characters.
While it's not always a good idea to associate the morality and ethics of a character with those of the writer, I happen to agree with her. I think regret is a necessary component to a well-lived life--that someone who has no regrets really has no heart.
But maybe I'm wroing. What do you think?
One plot line involves the central character deciding to help another character--who is going to die in the next couple of days--to do something he's wanted to do for years. He'd never met his father--the father had left his mother while she was still pregnant with him. He knew who he is, knows where he is, but had never worked up the nerve to go and say hello to him. The kicker is, the character has no idea he's dying. That's sort of the point.
Anyway, the central character researches this and decides that it may be best to let the guy die without ever meeting his father. I won't go into details but she has a very good reason for this and it'll be obvious to anyone who sees the film. If it gets made. The character decides that it's not always a bad thing to have some unfulfilled desires, unmet goals, plain and simple regrets, when the end comes. She has ample experience with this, which again is sort of the point of the whole thing, but she does run into some controversy over it with other characters.
While it's not always a good idea to associate the morality and ethics of a character with those of the writer, I happen to agree with her. I think regret is a necessary component to a well-lived life--that someone who has no regrets really has no heart.
But maybe I'm wroing. What do you think?
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Okay, folks, the eighties are over . . .
I'll admit that I'll occassionally get a taste for some trashy TV--I know I've spent hours watching wrestling, and even attended a few events in person. Had a great time, too.
What I'm not getting, though, are those folks who seem to prefer garbage, pretty much exclusively.
Like all those 80s TV shows that are suddenly such a big deal--both the originals and remakes. Are people watching those because they were so good? No--they watch them because they can point at them and laugh about the inane crap we used to consider entertainment. Which in and of itself ain't bad. However, it seems like they just can't get enough of the pointing and the laughing. To the point where that's all they want to do.
Look if it sucks, it sucks. Knight Rider, The Incredible Hulk, The A-Team, Miami Vice . . . they all sucked. They all still suck. They were godawful.
And don't get me started on the idiotic, boring drivel that was considered music--Duran Duran? The Police? The Human League? Juice Newton? Yawn, people!
And the people who still consume this crap consume it because it's crap! Whoever did that is an evil genius. I mean, really. Almost literally making money off of shit.
Sorry. It just drives me nuts, seeing yet another remake of a film from that era, another TV show, whatever, inflicted on us. Nothing new under the sun? Maybe not, but we can do better than that.
Sheesh, people.
What I'm not getting, though, are those folks who seem to prefer garbage, pretty much exclusively.
Like all those 80s TV shows that are suddenly such a big deal--both the originals and remakes. Are people watching those because they were so good? No--they watch them because they can point at them and laugh about the inane crap we used to consider entertainment. Which in and of itself ain't bad. However, it seems like they just can't get enough of the pointing and the laughing. To the point where that's all they want to do.
Look if it sucks, it sucks. Knight Rider, The Incredible Hulk, The A-Team, Miami Vice . . . they all sucked. They all still suck. They were godawful.
And don't get me started on the idiotic, boring drivel that was considered music--Duran Duran? The Police? The Human League? Juice Newton? Yawn, people!
And the people who still consume this crap consume it because it's crap! Whoever did that is an evil genius. I mean, really. Almost literally making money off of shit.
Sorry. It just drives me nuts, seeing yet another remake of a film from that era, another TV show, whatever, inflicted on us. Nothing new under the sun? Maybe not, but we can do better than that.
Sheesh, people.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Them dirty low down bronchitis blues
Yes, I have bronchitis, according to the doc-in-a-box I saw yesterday.
Fortunately the antibiotics and cough syrup he put me on seem to be working. I do feel better this morning and I coughed up about a half-gallon of icky crap this morning. I don't quite feel good enough to go to work yet--I think the meds need another day. But I am getting there.
I did make a start on my next project, the screenplay to Seer. So far, so good. So, this time isn't a total waste.
So, I'm gonna spend the day napping, chilling, watching day-time TV, and maybe do a little writing. Oh, and noodling around with a guitar when I start feeling a little more ambitious.
Fortunately the antibiotics and cough syrup he put me on seem to be working. I do feel better this morning and I coughed up about a half-gallon of icky crap this morning. I don't quite feel good enough to go to work yet--I think the meds need another day. But I am getting there.
I did make a start on my next project, the screenplay to Seer. So far, so good. So, this time isn't a total waste.
So, I'm gonna spend the day napping, chilling, watching day-time TV, and maybe do a little writing. Oh, and noodling around with a guitar when I start feeling a little more ambitious.
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