Vacation! and this and that . . .

Yes, I am on vacation all next week.

What am I planning? Well, I have around ten characters who have to have an extremely unpleasant demise. In other words, I'm hoping to be over halfway through this spec script by this time next Friday. Plus, Atari (my dog) has his yearly physical Monday morning. His shots, that sort of thing.

Atari, as I've said previously, is really old for an Akita. Their life expectancy is eight years--I'm estimating around the first of September Atari will be 13. He's got arthritis, so he doesn't get around all that well any more, and his kidneys are failing. Plus he has this skin condition that's common to Akitas (and Shiba Inus, too--but really they're just min-Akitas). So he has a tendency to get skin infections. I don't think he has one of those right now, though--he's actually doing pretty well in that area.

But he hates it when it rains--I think it stiffens his joints right up. Poor boy. I know the medicine helps, but not enough, I know.

I have noticed that Atari's relationships with cats sort of mimic my relationships with women. He thinks they're beautiful, fascinating, fun to be around . . . and they think he is either beneaith their notice or they are terrified of him. Been there, done that . . .

Tonight I'm watching Eureka and Haven on Syfy. Other than that, and listening to some music, I'm just chilling. Trying not to think too hard about things. I have a big decision to make--problem with it is I'm supposed to make this decision withou the bare minimum of information. I won't go into details yet, but it involves my job. I'll blog about it soon, I promise. If you care.

What are you doing this weekend? Something fun? Working, What?

Hmmm . . . time sink or something fun? And maybe profitable?

So, I've been following the Vampire Mob web-series, and the more I see the more intrigued I get.

Not necessarily about the show, though it is fun, well-made, and worth your time, and I urge you to check it out if you haven't already. No, it's the format I find especially interesting.

The website has the first episode. Upon 5,000 views, the second is unlocked. And so on, up to the sixth.  So, as of right now you can go over there and watch the first two episodes, and soon you'll be able to watch the first three episodes.

But I kind of like the idea of doing something short, like this show. Each episode is around five minutes long, I'd say--maybe a little more. I haven't actually timed them out. But I can dash off a five pager in a couple days. I can do around six of those in a couple of weeks, I think.

Problem is, right now I don't have an idea for something like that, I just think I'd like to do it. Most of my ideas are a helluva lot longer than five minutes. My stuff tends to grow arms and legs and tentacles and whatnot, getting more and more complicated as I get into it . . . so maybe doing something short would be both theraputic and educational for me.

I dunno. I'm not gonna work on anything else until I finish the spec script I'm working on now, so there's no hurry. I'm sure something will occur to me in the mean time, idea-wise.

But what do you think? I know web-based shows have been around for a while now--do you watch them? Take the little survey you'll see there, in the upper-right corner, so I can have some sort of idea whether or not this'll be worth-while. It'll be there a month or so. Or just leave me a comment.

The fate of my so-far extremely hypothetical web-based show is in your hands!

To all my call center bretheren

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed below are strictly my own. They are not representative of the opinions of my employer, my dad, my best friend, my dog, or anybody else. They are strictly mine. Okay? Okay.

I hear you, call center vets, thinking to yourselves, "Who the hell does this guy think he is, giving us advice?"

I've been working in a call center for over a decade now. I've pretty much heard it all. While I know there are others who know more about it than me, I have driven around this block a few times and know where the bad stretches of road are.

For example--the accusation, implied or stated outright, that the caller did something wrong. Even little, insignificant things. If at all possible, do not do this!

Think about it--your siggoth says something like, "You left the seat up/down again." Even if this is an extremely minor issue with you, something that's just a tiny annoyance--on a scale of one to ten, it's about a 0.5--it still starts you down that road to aggravationville. If you siggoth follows it up with, "I'm sorry, but I just don't feel like going out tonight" or something like that, you are even further along. Where before you might be inclined to understand and be sympathetic, since you are already a bit irritated you just get a little more irritated. A few more remarks and the neighbors are calling the cops.

For example--I get calls all the time from people who are trying to set up our software. There are detailed, meticulously written (by me) and illustrated articles (screenshots, anyway--again, by me) on our website that anyone should be able to follow.

The article on setting our software up is 40 pages long, but it's like a picture per page, so, text-wise, it ain't all that much. I still have people who get to page five and for some reason think they're finished. The remaining 35 pages aren't there for decoration but they seem to ignore this. So, they start using our software and it doesn't work right. They call me. I look at what they're doing and see that they have failed to follow the directions I wrote that anybody should be able to follow.

I'm tempted to let my irritation show. Instead, I say something like "Your file came in without your ID." Like it just came in that way--not like "You didn't follow the directions you moron!" It's more like, "Huh. How did that happen? But we can fix that like this . . . " and I walk them through the remainder of the instructions. Which takes maybe five minutes, normally.

It's not hard, really, once you become aware of it. When you accuse, the walls come up. You don't need that. I know I don't. The important thing is to resolve the issue to the caller's satisfaction, which you will probably be able to do most of the time. Not all the time, but most of it.

Go, thou, and do likewise.

The Art of Conversation

I came across this article today on CNN.com, about how to keep the conversation going with your spouse after you've been married for 20 years.

Maybe I'm just completely crazy, but really, after you've been with someone that long, what is left to talk about? Other than your day at the office or whatever?

Of course, I'm not the most sociable person on the planet, and I often find that I'm searching my rapidly diminishing mind for conversational topic when attempting to engage in coversation. I fail at that a lot, and we have prolonged, awkward silence, where she is assuming that she's said or done something to offend me or has totally shocked me, and I'm wondering if she's up for a twenty-minute dissertation on the impact of the film Alien because at that moment that's all I can think of.

Cover of Alien (The Director's Cut)

That, or the wonders and mysteries of heavy metal music.

Other people don't seem to have this problem. People who sit next to each other all day at work and hang out together after work don't seem to have this problem. I have eaves-dropped a few times, though, and have discovered at most of the conversation appears to be the same few phrases being repeated over and over again. In short, they really aren't having a conversation, they're just making noises.

Which is what leads me to believe that conversation really is over-rated. Hey, if the sex is okay (at least you're getting some, right?), and you can tolerate each other, and you aren't keeping secrets, then what else do you need, anyway?

Of course, since I'm perpetually single and have given up on dating, this makes me an expert on the subject.

Broken Toys

I just added a new tune, "Broken Toys." It's an instrumental, inspired by some characters in this screenplay I've been working on. You can click on any of the links above to give it a listen--if you go to iLike or the Facebook page, you'll be able to download the free MP3, too, if you are so inclined. If you just don't want to go to that much trouble, click here for my MySpace page, here for my Facebook page, or here for the iLike page. It's the first song listed in all locations. If you go to Facebook and dig it be sure to click "Like." And feel free to listen to the other stuff that's there, too. And download any available free MP3s, too, that tickle your fancy, on iLike or Facebook. (Same thing, actually, kinda.)

I hope you give it a listen, and let me know what you think!

Beast of Love lyrics

I thought since I'm asking people to vote for this tune in this contest (here, if you want to vote for it, or just want to hear it), that it would only be fair to post the lyrics to the thing. So, here they are. Prepare to be illuminated and astonished at your new understanding of the human condition:

She picked me outside of town


in her fast car with the top down

she said "I think I've seen you around

In a place where angels fear to tread."



I said "I think you're right, I've seen you, too.

You skin so pale, your eyes so blue

In that place where all fees are past due

And if you're not desperate you're dead."



They were beasts, sat down to feast

They were the beasts of love.



She said "You have a reputation in certain circles

A status that's nearly mythical

An outlook that's hardly ethical

to those who aren't in the know."



I said nothing, I couldn't disagree

the silence grew long between her and me

I didn't know what she wanted me to be

an ebb, maybe, or a flow?



She was a beast, she was at the feast

she was a beast of love.



She dropped the hammer down, away we flew

abandoned the old, racing towards the new

we hardly knew what we were getting into

that lonesome and fateful night.



She stopped in a desolate spot

I knew, here we go, ready or not

She didn't take it all, only a lot

I gave it up without a fight



Now I'm a beast, to say the least

I am a beast of love.



We're all beasts, at the feast

we're all beasts of love



words and music by J Franklin Evans

Musical randomocity for a Friday night

I reached a really minor milestone tonight.

I was stretched out on the couch listening to one of my favorite songs--Epica's "Design Your Universe" from the album of the same name. Earbuds in ear, volume cranked up, eyes closed, chillin'.

Cover of Design Your Universe

This is one of those epic songs--almost nine-and-a-half minutes long, orchestra, chorus, distorted guitars . . . plus Simone Simons' incredible voice.

Simone Simons via last.fm

There's a point about 2/3 of the way into it, sort of the climax of the piece, a point the preceding music has been leading to. The payoff, I guess. It begins with Simone singing, "The time has come . . ." All sorts of magical stuff happens at that point.

Except every freaking time I get to that point, Atari, my Akita, almost always cold-noses me on the cheek. Wanna go walkies. Now. So I have to pause the iPod and hook him up and take him outside. Sort of diminishes the impact.

Didn't happen this time. I was sort of worried--Atari's really old for his breed. I went to check and he was basically making out with a Milk Bone in the back bedroom. So, he was fine, and too preoccupied to notice that he'd missed his cue.

My dog has discriminating musical tastes. He only likes classic Metallica--if it's post-Black album, he's not interested. If it's anything else, he's not interested. I'll start playing some of my own stuff and he gets up and leaves the room, giving me a contemptuous little "snort!" as he does so. I halfway expect to hear the door slam behind him.

In case you haven't noticed, my tastes in music tend towards the harder end of the spectrum. I like music that is overtly emotional, and I tend to find what I'm looking for in metal and hard rock. I also dig black spritual music, even though I'm an atheist, because of the emotion apparent in a lot of that music. I may not believe what they sing about, but *they* do, and they put it all in their music. I love it.

Of course, as I get older I tend to mellow a bit. Right now I'm more into Scandinavian symphonic metal, mostly, like Epica. Though I love Tristania, which is more gothic metal. Kamelot is cool, too. Of course there is other stuff I like a lot--I love Slipknot, Rob Zombie, Tool . . .

I guess I really don't have a point, tonight. I just felt like talking. I'm glad you felt like listening. What kind of music are you listening to, these days?