OK, now what?

So, I've done the rewrites on my spec script and sent it off to a friend who knows a lot more about screenwriting than me. She'll look it over and give me her feedback when she gets a chance--she's rather busy at the moment.

At this point I need input on it. I've read and reread it until I'm not actually seeing anything when I read it, except what I expect to see. I need somebody else to look it over with some detachment.

So, until I get her feedback, what do I do? I can't really make up my mind. I really need to be working on something or I'll go out of my mind.

I think my Mythophobia song cycle needs one or two more songs, and there's another song cycle I want to start after that--more on that later. Maybe I'll work on that now. Also have an idea for a story or short film--maybe that's next. All that still needs some development, though.

Now that I've actually written it down I think I'll work on the music for a while, get a few new tunes out. I've done a couple of tunes I'm extremely happy with lately--"Inside" and "Take My Breath"--and those took a lot out of me. I'm not kidding--I was exhausted after those. "Inside" is my "biggest" tune since "Necrotopia"--I don't think I've ever had that many tracks before. "Take My Breath" is just an intensely personal song for me, and that made recording it draining. But, as I said, I'm happy with both songs, and maybe now that it's been a little while I have built up the reserves necessary for me to do some more music. Click one of the links above if you want to hear those tunes, along with several others.

So, stay tuned! Let's see where I go next.

Frustration

As a musician and writer, I often find myself wallowing in self-doubt.

Hell, so does everyone else. I wonder how other people deal with it?

I am a terrible judge of my own work. Something I sort of throw together will turn out to be one of my most popular works, while something I spend a couple of weeks on, sweated over, remixed, re-recorded, etc., will just sort of sit there.

Take my song "Necrotopia." I love it. I was proud of the lyrics, and I think I did a pretty good job with recording it. It sounds pretty much exactly like it did when I heard it in my head. Actually, in some ways it sounds better--a couple of happy accidents happened that sort of enhances the auditory experience of that song. I listen to it all the time, and still dig it.

But apparently I'm the only one.

I did another song, "Sometimes, Cthulhu Says No." It's an instrumental I sort of threw together--I'd just bought a new guitar and wanted to play around with it. It's sort of a goofy little dinky thing but with a pretty decent chord progression that I'm going to use again. And a fairly robust bass-line.

But still, I put that thing together in one day. Just a few hours. I made it up on the spot. People love that song.

Don't get me wrong, I don't *dislike* it. I just think I've done other songs that are better.

It's frustrating. I suppose I should be glad that there are one or two songs out there that seem to resonate with people. And I am.

But check out "Beast of Love," or "After the Blood," or the aforementioned "Necrotopia," please. I swear, those are decent songs, too, dammit! Give 'em a chance!